Overlord’s Best Friend

How many of you have seen this Pintrest meme floating around?

A lot of us have pets. A lot of us are also allergic to pets, but even then one could still own a fish, reptile, or perhaps a bird. Even if you don’t own a pet, most of you would probably have to admit that you’d like to. There’s just something about an animal companion that’s just…wonderful.

Heroes, side-kicks, and other common protagonist types very often have some sort of pet or familiar. The faithful dog. A horse of uncommon intelligence. What’s that on the gold-hearted thief’s shoulder? A ferret, or a small monkey perhaps? Let’s not forget wolves and cats. Steampunk? Bring in the octopi and hedgehogs! Aquatic? So many fish friends.

What about the evil guy? Where’s his pet? Voldemort had a snake, and Ursula had her eels. Maleficent had a raven. Many evil types have had growling Dobermans.  And then, of course, there’s the dragon mounts.

Hold on, I’m sensing a theme here – the heroic types can have basically whatever pet they want, even if they tend towards certain types, and those types are wide in selection. These pets are for aesthetics, transportation, special magical bonds, companionship. Evil types get snake-y things, symbols of death and doom, and things that could rip your throat out. These are for intimidation aesthetics, protection, battle, transportation. Hm.

Sometimes you do see the evil mastermind petting his cat as he slowly wheels around in his chair.

Vivicat

Any plots that my dear husband could be cooking would not be nearly as devilishly evil as whatever Vivi’s thinking of doing instead of being held.

But I’m pretty sure those evil masterminds only own a cat for the sole purpose of wheeling around in their chair while petting one. I don’t even know for certain those are real cats, I mean, Vivi already didn’t want to be held for even a picture’s length and our other cat, Minwu, wouldn’t either (although he’s not really evil cat material, he’s too much of a big derp). Maybe our flatmate’s cat might have tolerated sitting on someone’s lap on their schedule, as she doesn’t mind her owner scooping her up to snuggle like our two cats. Persians are really fussy cats, you know – at least the ones I’ve ever met – and cats in general don’t want to be held extensively on a human’s timeline so the cats overlords have are probably some sort of fake robot cat anyway. That’s my headcanon theory. In any case, the mastermind is not covered in cat fur, nor is anything else around him, nor are there angry red lines anywhere on his body from cat scratches, nor are there food or water bowls or litter boxes or scratching posts anywhere in his domicile, let alone his office where one can only presume his cat lives since that’s the only place we see it. That’s not a pet. That’s an aesthetic, a decoration just like the dim lights in the room.

There’s usually not a whole lot of affection from evil person to animal, either. Sometimes, you might see the villain pet his or her snake or bird, and on a particularly affectionate day possibly feeding the animal, but you don’t really see them playing fetch or really rubbing down their Doberman. There’s no “Whose a gooboy? WHooosa gooboy?” and no “Roll over! Shake! Have a treat.” There’s no finding solace in the animal when things go badly, not for a villain. And do you ever hear a villain screaming, “Fluffykins!” when they discover their throne has been torn up by the cat, or maybe said cat left any of the assortment of presents cats leave around atop the throne? Okay, granted, you don’t normally see much of this with heroes, either. I personally think it’s because people who write the animal companions have never had that animal as a companion. I don’t think I could write anyone owning a cat without having the cat knock over and break something vitally important at least once. Maybe the Ultimate MacGuffin. But inasmuch as the heroes don’t often deal with the downside of pets, the villains never seem to, or any other aspect of the pet aside from it’s obvious use.

The other aspect missing from a real master-pet relationship, like most us normal folk have, is the drive to provide toys for the animal – to buy tubes for a rodent to crawl around in, or little wooden houses for them to lay in and gnaw; cat condos for cats to play around on, lasers to drive them wild; mirrors and bells and stands for birds, pretty shiny things for them to grab for a nest; a toy that squeaks and rattles for your dog; heated rocks, coves, tunnels for reptiles; decor for fish. Your villain is a person, too, and the charms of an animal are difficult to resist, especially when given toys. Imagine your heroes bursting in on the villain as he tosses a ball across the long meeting room, his powerful dog racing across to bring it back, tail wagging, growling slightly at the heroes – he treats with them all the while still throwing the ball. Or the same scene, but all the while doodling a spiraling laser pointer’s laser on the floor with a cat madly pawing at it. That could be comical or it could be even more intimidating because the villain is acting like a normal pet owner and is not even perturbed by the presence of the heroes.

There are other aspects of being a pet owner that are overlooked. Pet care is oft boring and acceptable to skip; if you mention fresh bedding, it’s implied someone changes it. But there are some aspects that can add to your aesthetics while adding to the image your villain cares about this pets. Feeding crickets to a lizard or toad – feeding anything to a pet – has been used as an intimidation tactic and is great if not used badly, in my opinion. And then, snake skin – Do you know how awesome it is when your snake sheds its skin? It’s so cool. The snake gets all opaque a few days before, and then its eyes fog over and you know it’ll shed soon, and then it just…wiggles out, leaving a ghost version of itself behind. And then that skin – to take it and do something with it, feel it like a crisp dry leaf, and yet still scaly like your reptilian friend…why are shed snake skins from an evil pet just used as a creepy omen for the heroes? If I owned a giant snake I’d be figuring out all sorts of awesome crafts with that much snake skin. I’ve ever only been sister to the owner of a corn snake, and those cute guys are tiny so there’s not much you can do with their skins. Feathers could likewise be used.

I’m not going to tell you to use snakes or Dobermans, or not. I think it’d be cool to see a villain with a chinchilla on his shoulder or a ferret on a leash, but there’s nothing wrong with owning a raven. I’m just wondering if maybe villains couldn’t have more of a connection with their animals and familiars, too. Just because a person is cold and uncaring about others doesn’t mean they have to be so with animals, too – and in fact, I think, normally, they’re not. How many people do you know who hate other people but love their dog?

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Recurring Villain: Timing

WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN THE RETURN OF THE RECURRING VILLAIN!

As I did say it’d come back eventually, it can’t be too surprising, right? But maybe you forgot about it? What better time, then, for the recurring villain to come back.

The most unexpected or inconvenient time is not the only time that’s good for a recurring villain to appear, however: the best time is the most poignant time. Sometimes it would be a huge disappointment for the recurring villain not to appear, and it may be pertinent not to disappoint. Usually, in writing, it is prudent of the writer not to disappoint.

However, I believe generally speaking, the recurring villain should appear at the worst possible time.

FFFFF- I’m not in the mood to fight you, Gary! (at least it was near a pokecenter this time – I always forget he shows up on the SS Anne and in Sylph, when my team is badly worn from fighting sailors or rockets.)

So what are some poignant times? There’s no good from a recurring villain showing up unexpectedly if their unexpected visit has no emotional impact or…any impact, really, on the story.

There are, as I see it, two ways you can approach this. The recurring can either be the sole trial, with all the focus on him/her, or else the recurring can be the final straw.

For example, say the heroes are questing for a MacGuffin. The Dungeon to the MacGuffin is not too hard, and it seems like victory is well within the heroes’ grasp when they get to the Final Chamber only to find a recurring villain having an Yzma moment – “Looking for this?” If the heroes certainly have victory in their grasp only to have the recurring snatch it from them at the last moment, ensure that the recurring DOES snatch it completely. Otherwise you weaken your recurring badly. The final stand-off where the hero(es) finally beat the recurring should not involve the recurring failing to snatch victory from the heroes since that just makes the recurring look incompetent, rather than the heroes becoming strong enough to finally defeat the recurring. They could, however, turn the tables and snatch victory from the recurring.

An exception to this is with the Goldfish Poop Gang, but to follow through with the scene, the Main Villain or some sort needs to succeed where the GPG failed: when the GPG utterly fails to get the MacGuffin, the Main Villain needs to swoop in and grab it while the heroes are distracted dealing with the GPG, for example.

The recurring could also show up at an “almost there” moment – remember in the Wizard of Oz when they’ve finally gotten out of the forest and they just have to go through a field to get to Oz? That moment of “Oh, hooray! Look, we just have this one easy thing and then we win!” should pretty much always be interrupted by something, and a recurring villain is just as good if not better than most things. Like poppies. Which even in the book was a little lame – why on earth would the witch choose something to which two of the group members are immune!? or maybe the poppies were just there in the book, it’s been a while since I read it…anyway that moment is a great time for a recurring to show up.

Likewise, when the heroes are in bad need of a sanctuary, and are just crawling to one, so close, no more obstacles – what could possibly be worse than a recurring to show up right then? The best part about this is that a sanctuary can be anything – it doesn’t even have to be about physical wounds, like Red crawling to a pokecenter when Blue shows up grinning like the huge jerk he is. This could be prime time for an Unpleasant Associate – when the protagonist has been destroyed by the events of the day, and is seeking out comfort, what better way to induce crying or breakdowns than sticking the Unpleasant Associate just between the hero and the exit?

Even the GPG can be effective here. There’s no better way to complete the exhaustion than to add one more thorn.

This idea leads right into final straw moments – but different from crawling to a sanctuary, final straw moments have not and do not indicate any breathers, not recently, not any time soon. And just when everything has been going wrong, and everything’s been too hard, and nothing could possibly get worse, the recurring proves the diagnosis wrong. The GPG can become dangerous in situations like these, too, as there’s so much else happening that perhaps the heroes cannot even focus properly on the GPG. The struggling student can forget to eat breakfast, run late to her first class, have a fall-out with her bestie, find she’s on the brink of break-up with her boy, realize she didn’t make the team, and then realize she forgot to turn in her homework to the Unpleasant Teacher Associate – for him to smile down at her when she’s five minutes late from the due date and say “No, I will not accept this.” Friggun Gary can show up with his stupid fresh team of pokemon after I’ve just battled up my way through an entire building full of poisonous, exploding koffings and hatred-induci-er, confusion-inducing zubats and Rocket’s other stupid teams wanting to battle. The traveling band can have just barely escaped death from The Dangerous Forest or Mountain into the cover-less Plains, broken and bruised and out of food and still pursued by Evil Beasties and in a sour mood towards each other when The Pursuit shows up – or perhaps The Pursuit shows up after a huge fall-out when the protagonist just wants to be alone and no one will be looking for him quite yet while he blows off steam.

What are some examples of non-inconvenient or not necessarily unexpected shows? Right after it seems the recurring’s been permanently removed from play, perhaps they show up later on a camera or TV or some other long-distance device, showing they’re not dead. Perhaps you’ve been building up to an ultimate show-down – it’s expected they show, then, and they almost had better. And perhaps there’s just a comical run-in at the grocery store. Maybe they’re a cashier. Or maybe the protagonist is when the recurring is shopping.

The important thing is to wait for the poignant times because the recurring can’t show up too often. Remember the difference between a main villain and a recurring is how present the recurring is on the forefront of both reader and protagonist’s mind. If we don’t forget about them shortly after they leave, they’re slipping into main villain territory. Show them around too often, and we won’t forget.

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What If My Villain Is a Complete Monster?

Greetings, Minions! In this late hour, I wanted to address the Complete Monster and its craft (this TvTrope page is short and has precious few links so relatively safe from getting you trapped in a wikiwalk).

The Complete Monster is an appealing villain I think because as much as we all love badace heroes who are just so kickbutt and awesome and valiant, we also love terrifying, dreadful villains that are so awful and horrendous that their very existence makes us all a little worse. The idea of True Evil is an interesting one – it’s linked to black and white morality, which we all know is a farce but it’s a romantic idea to us anyway. Black and white morality makes things easy and there’s nothing like an enemy that is just bad – “at least we know for certain that he needs to be destroyed”.

So I’ve spent a lot of time declaring that villains are people too, but how does this reconcile with the Complete Monster? The CM has absolutely no concept of love or any sort of empathy. He lacks humanity – so he’s not really a ‘person’. He IS a monster. Does this mean I don’t think you should make a CM?

There are precious few rules in writing that a writer can’t break and have it work. I should hope that if I said, never make a CM, many of you would disobey me. But I’m not going to give that directive, instead I’m going to caution. CMs are quite difficult to pull off well. A large portion of the difficulty is alleviated if you are familiar with and practiced in executing my five main points of villainy, particularly that a villain does evil things because he is evil, not the other way around. Even with that mastered, however, a proper CM that not just your characters but that your reader will properly fear and despise is still a hard sell because for something so soulless as a CM, without the ability to truly relate to the character, the CM comes off as a movie monster. Terrifying, sure, but fake. And yet, the whole point of a CM is that it’s beyond redemption, beyond immoral. Beyond evil. The reader should not, cannot, relate to this thing.

And that’s where villains being people, too, come in. My best advice is that, even if it’s pre-book, you develop your CM. He, or she, needs to have been a person at some point in time. No one is born a complete monster, even if they are well pre-disposed to become one, in either nature or nurture. If a villain does come directly into existence as a CM, I think what you have more is a primordial evil and not so much a complete monster and you’re going to have the hardest of times selling it otherwise. Is it possible? Yes. But I wouldn’t try it unless your story needs it – your story cries for it, your story wants it, not just you. So come up with the character’s past. You don’t even need to necessarily tell the readers that past, allude to it, hint at it – you just need to know it. Like so much else,that hidden background for your use only, never to present itself in the story, will make your writing better. It will help you shape his motives, which he still needs to have, and adequately else he fall into mindless monster territory. It will help you with his personality – which again, he still needs to have. A CM isn’t a creature that must be destroyed, it’s a person that must be destroyed (or sequestered or whatever) – and people have personalities. It’s the qualities you need to watch for, the redeemable qualities.

Hannibal: Complete Monster? I would probably label him as such. And yet, in a way, he is relateable in the way he is abhorrent.

A possible requirement for a psychopath is glibness. What that means for you is that your CM could, potentially, even be appealing in personality. That doesn’t necessarily have to be a redeeming quality – it just has to be a slippery lie. There’s a huge difference between a silver-tongued killer and a silver-tongued entertainer, and someone who is just genuinely flattering and kind. When the appeal of personality is just a farce, meant to draw in to death, that’s just like a sweet scent on a carnivorous plant. It’s not a redeeming quality, it’s not “a good thing” about the plant, it’s a evil that’s all a part of the trap.

But your CM doesn’t have to have a pleasant personality, either. He just has to have some personality. You drift too far from what makes a human a human, and you fall into completely alien territory, a monster that is just a monster. Yes, a CM lacks humanity in that he lacks any sort of morality, any goodness – but he’s still, technically, a human.

And that’s what makes him so terrifying. Humans aren’t supposed to be able to get that far. Even in our romanticized black and white morality, the bad guy is never that bad. He has something. And of course a real person has more than that, because morality is grey within each of us. Each of us do things that are good and evil, some more good than evil, some more evil than good, but no one is pure evil. Humans don’t do that. And when they do, they’re not human anymore.

And that’s your key to making a CM that is truly bone-chilling. He reaches the threshold of “not human anymore” and continues to be a human. And that’s where “villains are people, too” comes into play with the Complete Monster. Your labors have put your reader squarely in the same race, same species as that utterly despicable villain.

Complete Monsters are people, too – and that’s a terrifying thought.

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Family Matters – Perhaps Even to A Villain

When I first typed “family matters” I did just mean, matters of the family. But to make it clear this post IS to be a post on villains and not just me waving and saying “Hi, so sorry I didn’t post yesterday but y’know, my excuses”, I adjusted what ‘matters’ I was using – this is to be a regular post, even if late. Sorry about that, by the way.

Family may not always matter to a villain. Maybe your villain doesn’t even have a family. Of course, there are many different things that can constitute a family in the first place, so to say your villain truly has no family is not so easy as it sounds. It’s more than just killing off the parents and flinging away siblings or extended family, having him remain unmarried and childless. If there’s a single person that matters to your villain, matters in a way your friend or brother or mother or spouse matters to you, your villain has family blood ties or no.

Bowser has a whole set of children! Bet you forget that when you’re trying to get their stupid wands away from them.

It’s no surprise my mind has been on a villain’s relationship with the hospital these past few weeks. I mean, being in a hospital will do that to you. (I am no longer there, by the way, but things aren’t back to normal for me quite yet.) Having a villain love someone, and be in a hospital, or have a loved one put in a hospital, is not unheard of. I instantly think of the Mayor and Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Buffy put Faith in the hospital, the Mayor visited her; it was to him as though Buffy had put his daughter there. But it doesn’t happen super often, either.

Not that one going to the hospital is a common occurrence (I should hope!), but there are lots of little things, and big things, that can happen. And it’s made me think. We are always concerned with the trials of our heroes. We should be. They’re (probably) the main characters, and therefore their trials are the interesting ones. A villain with smooth plans are the interesting ones and I’ve sat and said that a hero should never defeat a villain because of a mistake the villain made. But then, if all our characters are human – regardless of whether or not they are actually of human race – shouldn’t all of them be subject to human error? Things don’t go according to plan for the heroes, and that’s the way it should be. But sometimes, shouldn’t random error, not incompetency or thwarting of the heroes, but just crazy random happenstance…happen to villains?

One of the main scenarios I’ve – unsurprisingly – considered as of late is what an interesting twist it would be if we did have a male villain, all prepared to execute some sort of master plan, when all of a sudden a messenger arrives or his phone buzzes and his wife is letting him know her water broke. That’s a pretty “drop everything and rush my wife to the hospital” kind of event. Or midwife or…medibots or whatever fits your genre. Does that include your villain’s master plan? I don’t know, that depends on your villain. But it’s going to make things interesting. Even if the news doesn’t phase him and he just ignores it, he and his wife are probably going to have a “talk” later. And how might that affect the hero, especially if he or she didn’t know the enemy was a married man who apparently has a family now (and possibly before – there’s no reason it has to be kid #1)?

Contrariwise, I also have an amusing little comic in my head of a villain about to execute some horrible plan on the hero when HIS wife calls about her water breaking and politely excuses himself from their duel of destiny to go to her. Since the scene is definitely meant to be comedic, he is allowed to leave. But that’s still an element that could be interesting in a story because family matters.

What about a villain whose teenage child or best friend has a bad break-up? Or maybe even a top minion? How does your villain handle that? What about the small child that is afraid of monsters under his bed or in her closet? When the minions are supposed to be getting somewhere quick and get caught in traffic, or held up by an accident? Not IN an accident, just there was one and now the streets are blocked off. You still can’t let these things allow the hero to win, not generally I don’t think. But life happens to everyone, and the frustrations of life, how we handle them, is part of how we show our personalities and our humanities, what kind of person we really are. Certainly it’s not appropriate for every story, and it’s not even a novel idea, but I think it’s badly underutilized. Villains are people, too – the curveballs of life might give them a great chance to show it.

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I Have Been Rejected!

Good news, everybody! (Two bits, if you read my post yesterday – I’m still posting! I wrote this about a week earlier, shortly after the event happened. I’m glad I can still post on time.)

Back in…say May, maybe even April, I became aware of an opportunity to write a short story for publication. The theme was “strange little girls” – like Alice in Wonderland or Wednesday Adams or even Drusilla. I wrote a short story, much to my own shock – ordinarily the shortest story I ever managed to write was about 50 double-spaced Word pages (my poor creative writing teacher did not take me seriously when I asked her if there was a maximum on our satire stories). And then I took that short story, and I edited it, and submitted it to both of my writing groups, and presented it to some beta readers, and edited it, and edited it….and edited it…

And then in mid-June, I submitted it. My first submission to a publisher ever.

And a few days ago, I got a reply!

You should know from the title of this post that it was a rejection.

Here’s a picture of me with a print-out of the email rejection:

1st rejection letter

That’s a map of Albania behind me, if you were wondering.

Why am I smiling? Why do I look so pleased? I was told by a publishing company that they didn’t want my story – even though I wrote the story specifically for them! Wasn’t the rejection hard? Didn’t it make me cry?

Yeah, it did. I actually saw the email when I just sat down with a spare moment early in the day in the office at work and I really should have waited to open the email until I got home. But that would have been like, six or seven hours later and I was immediately far too excited and instantly opened it. And when I saw their very polite declination to include my story in their anthology, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, and wrap myself up in the sheets, and quit life to become a burrito. I wanted to cry into my husband’s chest for a couple of hours. I wanted anything but to be sitting there, shedding silent tears, hoping none of my coworkers noticed because if they even knew I was a writer, I wasn’t certain they’d really understand how much this first rejection stung. Even less, I wanted to hear my phone ring and have to answer it and pretend I was having the best day ever and that I so much wanted to make the customer’s day better, too. I was very, very lucky I only received route business calls, no angry person calling to complain about such-and-such because I don’t think I could have handled it at the moment.

After a little bit of time, maybe an hour or so, the pressing need to burst into tears faded. I was still morose. I still wanted to cry. But pretending to be happy while at work was possible, and I began to think of what I wanted to do when I got home, when hopefully I was a little less sad. I still needed time to mourn, but I did eventually want to celebrate the fact that at least I’d tried. A friend messaged me, making sure I was doing all right, and we planned to go for ice-cream in the evening. An outpouring of encouragement of all sorts came in response to my facebook post about the news. I began to feel a little better, more and more, in waves – macabre, teary, macabre, sad, neutral, sad, macabre.

By the time I got off work, I was hovering more at sad and neutral. I tried to call my parents, but they were busy. I was received by a husband who had baked me cookies – some Pillsbury package I’d bought a few days ago because they’d made some new cookies with a filling that looked freaking delicious (They totally are, if you see them in your store and aren’t opposed to Pillsbury cookies, you should totally try them.) We took a nap. We woke up, went to the agreed upon ice cream parlor where earlier mentioned friend and her husband met us, and had a fun evening talking about random stuff. I wasn’t sad anymore. I was happy.

I’m not happy I was rejected. That sucks. It’s not surprising, not at all – my first submission ever, after all, even though the story was good. But it still stings. But I’m happy that I tried. There’s a lot to celebrate here. I wrote a short story – me! Long-winded, detail-everything Rii the Wordsmith, I wrote a short story! That’s amazing. And then I edited it. Not just once. Several times. Carefully. To what I feel is as close to perfection as I’m going to get with it, at least for now. I polished it to a point to where I would not be ashamed to submit it, where I cannot say it was not accepted just because I hadn’t cleaned it up enough. In other words, I completed an entire editing process. That gives me a lot of hope for me to do so with my novel, even though my novel is much longer and that editing process is dragging on and on for me. I can do it. I can do it for a short story, I can do it for a novel. And then, after I wrote the thing and edited it properly, I submitted it. Do you know how hard it was to submit it? I wrote my cover email letter thing whatever, and I attached the file named just as the publisher requested, and I typed in the publisher’s email address, and then my mouse hung over ‘send’. And I panicked. And I knew I couldn’t send it because they would hate it and write back to tell me I should never write again and they needed a physical mailing address to send me the ashes of my short story so the message could sink in and- and then I clenched my eyes shut and hit ‘send’. I hit send and immediately panicked to a higher degree, for about a week. And then I stopped panicking and eventually mostly forgot about it. I did that. And then, after many, many weeks of waiting (but still within the time frame they gave me for response), I got a reply. And the reply was not that it was terrible and I should stop writing and they needed a physical mailing address. The reply was just that they didn’t think it was quite right for the anthology and good luck elsewhere. They said “thank you for letting us read your story”. That might be a nicety, but they still said it.

I completed an entire submission process.

I did it and I didn’t die or combust or find myself banished from writing.

I may have been rejected, but I feel pretty good.

Dear aspiring writer followers, I hope you likewise find joy in your future rejections as well – and I hope you have the courage to hit that terrifying ‘send’ button in the first place, too.

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Tomorrow and September

Hey, Faithful Readers! And not-so-faithful readers, and new readers, and passers-by…

So I’ve settled into my no-longer-so-new responsibilities that unfortunately are still mine, and I’ve got high hopes of returning to regular blog posts for September, although I will post one more PSA some time. I was planning on doing it, or possibly a post about my first submission to a publisher, tomorrow – but I might not be able to get anything up tomorrow depending on a big factor.

No panic, but I’m actually currently in the hospital and I might not be able to leave soon. I have a little time now to letchall know I might not be able to post tomorrow…but hey, maybe with all this sitting around with nothing to do but listen to an ultrasound thingie play out my baby’s heartbeat, I can still post. Either way I did want to give fair warning.

(No seriously, no panic. Seems like things’ll be fine.)

You don’t see villains get to go to the hospital a whole lot, not for things that aren’t related to the hero beating them up or something, do you? What an interesting thought, a villain going to the hospital because of warning signs about their pregnancy – though, then again, you don’t see pregnant women as villains too often either…or villain women becoming pregnant. Which is a missed opportunity in a way, I think – I actually am working on a blog post about it. So don’t worry about me, I’m in good hands, but instead think about, if you have the right genre, what reasons a villain may have for going to the hospital, whether as a patient or visitor, that aren’t directly related to the hero. Could give you some interesting ideas.

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CONJURING AND FLYING!

This is for all you dark wizard types out there – when you’re on your dragon, you’re on your dragon. Put the book down! Don’t conjure and fly!

Don’t bother trying to read the runes, I just doodled them on randomly. I know, my pentagram and pentacle are kind of terrible, but drawing geometric shapes nicely takes a lot of effort – just enjoy that today you get two versions of a PSA.

Conjuring and Flying

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