I hate Valentines’ Day. Hate it. People now ask me what right I have to hate Valentine’s Day since I’m married now and don’t have to worry about being alone. Here’s the thing: Valentine’s Day is a day about shaming singles and exploiting couples. As I understand it, not in my marriage but as I understand it in other relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a source of stress and damage to the relationship, so I really don’t see how it’s that much better for people in a relationship, either. “Oh, you’re not single? Now you’re obligated to buy stuff if you want to stay that way!”
Someone suggested to me we replace Valentine’s Day with a second Halloween. I agree. The main reason I agree is because Halloween is my favorite holiday ever. But if you don’t like Halloween – and now that I’ve lived in Provo, I actually know a lot of people who don’t, or who even hate Halloween – let me try to convince you to my side.
Valentine pro: discount chocolate day is the 15th of Feb.
New Halloween pro: *also* discount chocolate day the day after
Valentine pro: excuse to go out and do some nice date
New Halloween pro: also an excuse to go out – but there’s an opportunity to do something as cheap as free without the pressure of doing something potentially expensive like a fancy restaurant. Also while it’s an excuse to go out, there’d be less of an obligation to unless you have small children. It’s just less pressure all around with just as much fun!
Valentine rebuttal: But it’s not romanti-
Halloween rebuttal: I’m gonna cut you off there, Valentine. If we make Halloween II: The Electric Boogaloo themed less on wearing masks and leaving out candy to ward off the spirits of the dead (yay pagan tradition!) and more, I don’t know, somehow couple themed like couples fighting through the impending Zombie Apocalypse or whatever, it’s still romantic.
Valentine pro: …I’m, uh, running out of pros here. I’m trying really hard but…er, my husband will buy me flowers?
Halloween pro: Candy > flowers. Arguably, anyway. Look if you really want your husband to buy your flowers, you could probably just ask him to surprise you with flowers one day and he would. It isn’t as if he would say “no”. Looking for a holiday for your husband to buy you flowers is kind of lame.
Halloween pro: ANOTHER DAY OF COSTUMES! 😀 (What? I like dressing up. And not in the business formal sense.)
Halloween pro: Halloween parties tend to be way more fun than any sort of Valentine thing. Especially Singles Awareness parties which can become pity parties, even if that’s just a tiny subtext.
Halloween pro: Anyone of any age, gender, and relationship status can enjoy the day pretty equally.
So let’s start vetoing Valentine’s Day in favor of Halloween II: Surviving the Impending Apocalypse – Together Even in Death! Or whatever!